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I have an alien in my gut. He speaks to me, and tells me all sorts of crazy things. He says Mr. Sombagull, my math teacher, is actually a demon from another dimension that tortures innocent animals and that my big sister Rachel can read adult minds. That's why she never gets in trouble,even though she does things she's not supposed to. That's crazy.
His name is Jeff. That's not his alien name but it doesn't really matter. He says “What's in a name? Letters! HAHAHAHAHA!” Jeff thinks he's real funny and wants me to do stand up with his jokes. He's a real nutjob. I'm eleven years old. I can't do that!
Jeff, the alien in my gut, says he's going back to his planet soon. In just a few weeks. When he goes, I'll die. The only way to get out is ripping a hole in me. But I'm not going down that fast. I'm going to drink lots of beer. I'm going to beat my stomach with an iron bar. I'm gonna get Jeff before he gets me. I hope it will work.
This is my creative writing essay. Please give me a good grade. Jeff made me write these last sentences.
